Bryan's Rice-Boy Hall of Shame Vol. 11

Welcome to the first new hall of shame of the millenium!! It's kind of short, but sweet, mostly centered around one car, but it really does deserve a hall of shame all it's own! This CRX was found by an associate in the bay area of California, thanks for sending this in!

Let me count the ways...

Here we see a CRX, in yellow (which we all know is the color of every serious race car), with an interesting, but highly stylish pinstriping job. But what really jumps out are the side skirts made of sheet metal, adding an enormous amount of aerodynamic efficiency at a minimum of added weight. It also provides much-needed sticker space for the all important "Powered By Honda" sticker, to clear up any confusion in case you thought that bumble bee sound was coming from an American V8. But if you weren't intimidated by the powered by Honda warning, perhaps the speeding fireball sticker will convince you that this car is indeed as fast as a speeding fireball. But not just any speeding fireball -- a closer inspection of the front fender reveals a fake "Integra Type-R" badge... could this be another identity crisis?

The truth is out there...

Trust no one. Or at least, trust yourself. Trust yoruself to never be as tacky as this guy. Here we see yet another example of home-made body kit action, complete with slick, visible bolts holding the skirt on every three inches or so. The cutouts make room for the dual, non-matching 4" exhaust tips, which help to expell the massive amounts of exhaust gas that the CRX's ground-pounding, sub 2.0 liter engine produces.

//TRD Power

Did I mention an identity crisis? How about that big Toyota Racing Development banner? No wonder he needed the "Powered By Honda" on the side. His banner might have fooled you into thinking he swapped in a twin-turbo Supra engine in there (yeah right). Maybe he got that hood scoop for... I don't know what. And here we see a continuation of that very stylish application of pinstriping. And let's not forget to put another Integra Type-R sticker near the headlight, in case you missed the badge that was on the side fender, about 14 inches away.

Mad (simulated) stopping powazzz

Of course, every well-rounded performance car has added stopping power to go with their added power production, which makes it completely appropriate that the owner of this CRX has simulated additional stopping power for his simulated additional power from the engine. Rather than let anyone see his tiny drum brakes, this person decided to install some fake cross drilled brake rotors to complete his simulated-performance package.

And Now...

A couple more examples of some cars with identity crises, these from the Domestic side of the force:

I'm an economy car in disguise

Yes, the Geo Storm. Economy car in a sporty car disguise. But not a good enough disguise for this Storm owner who wanted to believe that his car is actually an Acura, and represented this by placing an Acura badge on the rear of his car. But not just any Acura badge, but a red one. Just like the Integra Type-R! Hey, maybe this isn't a Storm at all? Maybe it really is an Integra Type-R, well, it does have the badge in the corner too, doesn't it? Who knows, maybe he did an engine swap? (yeah... right...)

Don't Forget My Name

In case there was any confusion, this high performance wagon (and obviously, it must be high performance, look at that exhaust!) is a Saturn. Everyone knows that yellow is the color of speed, so many of this car's parts are accented with yellow, including the single wiper conversion in the front (to match the single wiper in the back, perhaps?) and the side mirrors. In many forms of racing where a team may run multiple, identical-looking cars in a race, they often paint the mirrors different colors to differentiate between the different drivers. Perhaps the owner of this car has a friend with a car just like it?

And if you ever happen to catch this guy in your rear view mirror at the end of a race and were wondering what kind of car you just wasted, fear not, the owner of this vehicle has conveniently placed a reversed banner in his windshield so that those viewing his car through rear-view mirrors can also get the pleasure of knowing that this car is a Saturn. Just in case you didn't know.


And so concludes another edition of the Hall of shame that was just too short and came too late. But hey, it's better than nothing right? By the way, these were all reader submissions. If you want to submit your own pics, here are some guidelines: First, don't send me pics of cars that you just found on the interent. Please only send me pics that you have taken yourself. I've had some people send in pics that still had the or stamp in the pic. Duh. I'm not putting those on this site. Secondly... don't expect me to use it just because you send it in. 80% of the pics I receive are either ones from other sites, or ones of cars that are too boring to write about. Thanks! And really... I'll try to update more often now!

Last Modified 1/3/2001.

Questions? Comments? Got a Rice-Boy story of your own?
Please fill out the Rice-Boy Response Form.

The term "Rice-Boy" is not meant to be a racially derogatory term. It just reflects the fact that most of these types of cars are owned by Asians and that they are all Japanese made cars. I myself am an Asian, and I still think these guys are dumb. It's not about race -- it's about attitude.