Bryan's Rice-Boy Hall of Shame Vol. 7

All Rice-Boy Page Reader Submissions!

This Hall of Shame features all photos sent in by the readers of the Rice-Boy Page! Sorry to the guys whose names I have forgotten, I would have loved to give you credit here!

Staples are Cool

At first, this car looks OK. You got some lowering, some aftermarket wheels, pretty typical stuff. But the more you look at it, the uglier this car gets!

First of all, the more you look at it, the less and less that yellow matches the rest of the car, and what's with that little white stripe in between the red and the yellow?

This car also follows a couple other trends that I haven't yet mentioned on this page, such as painting the sides of the corner lamps the same color as the body... but what is that yellow on the headlight cover? Trying to make his hi-beams yellow? Wouldn't that make his hi-beams not quite as high? Well I guess it wouldn't matter since he has those snazzy fog lights.

But hey, styling is subjective... and then again, build quality is not.

Check out that front chin spoiler... that thing looks like it's held on by nails! What is that? Was that thing stapled on? What is it made of? Does it stay on at high speeds? Who knows? Does this guy really think that it looks better than stock?

High Performance Geo-Metro

Yup, this guy's got style, and this guy's got speed. And if you burn his ass in a race, well at least he'll still have enough gas leftover to drive himself to Argentina!

Lowered, with shiny wheels and those great style-adding wheel well trim thingies, everywhere he goes, I bet he gets lots of stares.

The Front View

This view gives a better view of the offset silver racing stripe which lets you know that this serious racer is coming, if by some chance you didn't hear the sound coming out of the big exhaust tip (not pictured here) or feel the rumbling power of the 1.0 liter 3 cylinder engine (and there is a good chance that you missed it!)

Hey, I thought this was the car that could get you from San Fransisco to Manhattan on $77 worth of gas, not the super high speed, super high style ride that this guy wishes he had. I bet the ladies are real impressed!

International Rice

Ricey behavior is all over the world. Here is a prime example, it is a Honda CRX (Civic del Sol, in the U.S. market), which Sergio, a European army dude spotted in the south of Holland.

Hey, it looks pretty normal, as far as rice-boy cars go, at first but this car, like many rice rockets, becomes more suspicious the more you look at it. Like that "dual" exhaust system... isn't this car an inline 4? So then in actuality, it's not a dual exhaust system, nor would a dual exhaust system be ideal for an I-4 setup. Meaning what? All the extra weight for that extra piping is just that... extra weight!

"Cross Drilled Rotors"

Sitting behind these cool wheels are some nice cross drilled rotors... but where are the calipers? Sergio mentioned that they must be the new "HKS stealth type" calipers since you can't see them. Something smells fishy here...

"Besides," he said, "I've never seen a disc made out of sheet aluminum!!! The outer edges were folded inwards making it look as if it was 4mm thick, but a close inspection revealed that it was just 1.5mm thick!!"

I knew rice-boys liked to make people think their cars would go faster than other cars, but they also want people to think they stop faster too!

Hello, Sergio

Hehe, we can see his reflection on the car in this picture :)

Now this "MUGEN" thing... well according to Sergio, who saw it in person, "it looked as if these were made out of 'stick on' self adhesive letters or something similar... He didn't even align them properly!!!! Gee, that looked cheap... I wonder where the famous 'R' is at??"

Rice-Boys are always claiming that I put this page together because I'm jealous and I can't afford a Honda... but some of these guys can't even buy the real stickers, let alone the real parts!

Identity Crisis Paseo

Yes, following in the footsteps of the many other rice rockets with identity crises is this Toyota Paseo that has... a VTEC decal from an Integra? Maybe he is feeling inadequate due to the fact that the Paseo is really just a Tercel with a new body... or maybe this is the car that his parents bought him when he really wanted an Integra. Who knows?

Maybe someone should tell this guy that Toyota has developed a new VVTi system superior to VTEC because it varies both valve timing and lift continuously which they will probably use in the next generation Celica... at least if he had a VVTi logo he can leave us wondering if he might have that engine in his car...

Size Does Matter!

Well aside from the issues I brought up in the "dual" exhaust thing I talked about in the Euro-CRX section, well just look at the size of those exhaust tips? He's holding up a CD next to one of them to give you an idea of how big they are... hey man, ever get your head stuck in there!?!?

And let's not forget the standard fare, the lowering, the wheels, the offset stripe with partial stripe... and those cool tailight covers that make your tail lights dimmer so people can't see it when you start braking or when you're signalling, then they can rear end you and it will be totally cool!

Last Modified 10/11/98.

Questions? Comments? Got a Rice-Boy story of your own?
Please fill out the Rice-Boy Response Form.

The term "Rice-Boy" is not meant to be a racially derogatory term. It just reflects the fact that most of these types of cars are owned by Asians and that they are all Japanese made cars. I myself am an Asian, and I still think these guys are dumb. It's not about race -- it's about attitude.