This page, will (hopefully) be updated weekly, and will include some of the responses I get every week, and my responses to them. You'll be seeing hate mail, and non hate mail here! And now, for my standard response-page spiel:
I would like to take the time to reiterate some things about my opinions and such. I do not hate import cars. I do not hate Hondas. I do not think American cars are superior. Nor do I think Japanese cars are superior. Really, the Rice-Boy page has nothing to do with that argument Also, I am perfectly aware that there are some guys with Civics or other imports that are fast. The rice-boy page has nothing to do with the cars that are actually fast. Only the ones that pretend to be fast but are not.
Another thing is that you will probably notice that I have put more hate mail up here than friendly mail. This is not because I get more hate mail, like some people (mostly rice-boys) seem to think. It's just that hate mail is just so much more interesting to read! I get about one piece of hate mail from a rice boy for about every 70-80 response I get from someone who likes this page.
Ok, first I'll get to the dumb hate mail, then I'll get to the structured hate mail second. Here we go...
I tnink the riceboy is an f-ing idiot. you are just jealous that you can't afford a import car. Oh, and about your little comic strip. Does`t a moronic idiot like you realize that not everyone puts stuff on there car to make it go faster, some people just do it for looks and personal taste. you`re an f-ing moron
Yeah, I "tnink" that riceboys are dumb too. Oh wait, you were talking about me? This isn't called "Bryan's Rice-Boy Page" because I am Riceboy. And oh yeah, I can't afford an import. That's because imports are so expensive that I can't even find $500 to buy a 1979 Honda Civic CVCC. And thank you for enlightening me that some people do this to their cars for looks. Oh wait... didn't I say that in my What is Riceboy section of the page? Oh, you didn't read that? Oh, you didn't read any of my site? You just looked at the pictures? Yeah, I couldn't tell at all!
I don't know why people think that I made this website because I am jealous of Rice-Boys. I mean, what does jealousy have anything to do with it? And how come so many of them are convinced that I'm so poor that I can't afford a car? I mean, how many people do you know that are so poor they can't afford a car that own their own domain names on the web? Or have computers, for that matter!
This next guy... well... he is just very confused...
hello bryan im sorry but it is sad that your page is so self contradicting. in one statement you say that mustangs are weak and then in another you mention that mustangs are far far supirior than a civic or integra. then you continue to ramble by saying that the old 5.0 liter mustangs are fake and weak compared to the new 4.0 liter stangs. how can you possibly concive that this is true the new mustang is so much bigger and heaver with a 20 % smaller engine. even if the goverment removed the fuel economy standards from the mustang it would still not even compare to the old mustang. Ok and maybe you were comparing the old mustang to the new mustang gt wich is a 4.5 liter and still heaver wich inturn means its still some much fucking weaker that tradional mustangs. also new mustang parts are so fucking hard to find all you can do is change the exaust or something equally minimal. dont get me wrong i am not a mustang lover its just that everything you say is mixed up. dont think i am trying to write a " mean " letter i am just stating what i observed.
Let's analyze this step by step:
It puzzles me how a guy who says I am mixed up can be so mixed up.
These next two are from people who are convinced that I devote my whole life to this site. I actually wrote an e-mail back to the guy who wrote this first one, so I will just post up exactly what I wrote back to him:
For somebody who dislikes those kinds of cars, you sure spend a lot of time photographing them and putting them on the web. I myself don't like them but I don't lose sleep over it. Go do something else, excercise, go to church, get married and have kids, drink beer, just do something!
Here was my response:
Actually, I spend most of my days working in the theatre. For example, I am currently stage managing a UCSD production. This involves being early and staying late for rehearsals (which for the actors are M-F 7-11pm and Sat noon-5pm), as well as attending production meetings, meetings with designers, meetings with department heads, etc.
And I go to school, and I work. I come home, and drink beer. I even go to church once in a while.
A lot of people think that I spend my entire life working on this site. You have to remember that this whole site didn't appear as it does now in one day. It is the product of 3 years of constant additions.
I think I do plenty. I do more than just sit around peruse web sites and tell their owners to get lives.
Oh, and to those who were wondering, every night, I toss and turn because I can't fall asleep. I can't fall asleep because I keep thinking about Rice-Boys. I hate them so much. I haven't slept for 3 months straight now because I keep thinking about that "Erotic-WayZ" Cavalier in the last Hall of Shame. Someone, please help me.
Now, this last one also comes from a guy that thinks I spend my whole life on this site. I'll take this one step by step:
Man, you're really an idiot.
Yes, I certainly am! I would have got it on with every girl I saw in Spain if I wasn't so dumb and stayed faithful to my girlfriend who was just going to cheat on me in the end anyway.
I can't believe someone has as much time on their hands as you.
Neither can I! I have so much time on my hands that I can update the "Responses of the Week" every other month!
First off, what's wrong with having a nice looking car?
Didn't I answer this question in the FAQ? I guess the intelligent crowd doesn't actually read the websites they are going to respond to.
Just because someone has a mid-high spoiler/wing doesn't mean they think it makes their car go faster. Are you really that stupid?
Yup, I am really that stupid. And so are they.
This page is terribly made also...
Yeah, that's what I was starting to think after all those people e-mailed me, telling me about how organized and logical my site was.
Not to mention the HUGE run-on sentances you use nearly every paragraph. I read one paragraph that had 8, yes 8, commas. It was ONE SENTANCE but it was also ONE PARAGRAPH.
You know what, I can't believe that someone who starts out his letter telling me about how much time I have on my hands would actually check for run-on sentances and would actually count how many commas I use in them, especially on a site that they don't even like, because anything so insignificant shouldn't matter that much to someone like that anyway, particularly those who are intelligent enough to be able to tell others that they are an idiot, so really, all of this just begs the question, "who here is really the one so much time on their hands?", and I think in this case, the answer would be you, and I realize that I use a lot of commas, that is a problem I have had since I was in 8th grade, but I'm not so sure that I even want to do anything about it, and lastly, I don't think I ever use run-on sentances, so you must be hallucinating or something.
I should make a webpage dedicated to the idiots like you who can't spell, but still like to make fun of everything people do. "Let me give you a reality check here: A stock Camaro or Mustang costs less than an Integra GS-R, and dammit, it's faster too" <-- that's not true. A GS-R runs a 15.4 while the Camaro V6 runs a 16.1. This is from Car and Driver's May '98 issue.
The Acura Integra GS-R starts at $22,100. The Z28 (which is the car I was making the comparison with) starts at $21,485. The Z28 is cheaper than the GS-R, and according to Motor Trend, runs a firstname.lastname@example.org mph. Need I say more on that subject? These are 1999's numbers, by the way. What you read was probably written in 1996, but it was still just as true then as it is today.
And I don't know what any of this information has to do with me being an idiot, or you making a website about people who make fun of everything other people do. But you are not an idiot, which makes you beyond logic, of course. But at least you can spell and count commas.
"Not everyone on this planet strives to be all politically correct you know... " Yes, but do people who rip on others strive to use correct grammar? Obviously not you....
And obviously not anyone else that has ever written hate mail to me in the past. I wonder if anyone who rips on people (besides you) actually stives to use correct grammar. And we all know that my page is completely pointless and useless because it has too many commas!
In relation to your page though, I can't STAND what you call a "rice boy". I like a hooked up Honda, Toyota, or Nissan, (check out my old Accord www.paonline.com/def1379/accord2.htm) but I can't stand it when someone buys one of them (or a hyundai) and puts hub caps or crappy rims on and thinks it's faster all of the sudden.
So then you would conceed that there are some people out there who believe that putting hub caps or crappy rims on their cars makes their cars faster. Obviously you believe that these kinds of people exist, otherwise, it would be impossible for you to be able to say that you can't stand them.
So if you believe that people like this really exist, why did you write (with such a tone of condescension, I might add) the words "Just because someone has a mid-high spoiler/wing doesn't mean they think it makes their car go faster. Are you really that stupid?"
Just because someone has hubcaps or crappy rims on their car doesn't mean they think it makes their car go faster. Are you really that stupid?
And by the way, that link you gave doesn't exactly lead to a display of utter HTML mastery, so I don't know why you were criticizing my skills.
But why waste all of your time in making a website about them!?
Didn't I answer this question in the FAQ? I guess the intelligent crowd doesn't actually read the websites they are going to respond to.
And, I don't think it's been a waste of time. This site has created a number of job opportunities, and hooked me up with some connections in the automotive magazine industry. This site has opened doors for me. And oh yeah, because of this site, I'm also more famous than you.
Don't take offense to this, but I think you have some serious issues dude. I could go on FOREVER ripping on you and your terrible webpage, but I won't.
Well, for your own sake, I hope you don't go on "forever" ripping on my site. Lord only knows how stupid you'd make yourself look. So far, your "ripping" on my site has consisted mostly of ripping on my grammar, and "refuting" my numbers with ones that don't apply, and stepping on your own toes a whole lot. I'd say you've made quite a fool out of yourself.
Though this is a totally different site than what yours is intended, the format should stay the same. So go to www.aexpert.com and view what a real programmer / webmaster does.
What do I care what a "real" programmer/webmaster does? I'm a freakin' stage manager and a freelance writer (even with all my extra commas), that happens to run an entertaining, thought provoking website that has entire offices worldwide rolling on the floor laughing at its cutting-edge social commentary.
And man, if being a real webmaster/programmer means putting cheesy animations, ugly graphics, useless tables and fucked-up looking forms (but with perfect, grammatically correct text) on a completely un-entertaining website that no one has ever heard of or cares about, then I don't want to be a real programmer/webmaster. And if being a real programmer/webmaster means being like you, then I'd be more than content being a fake one.
I'm posting this one up almost as a response to this week's hate mail:
Bryan of the Infamous Rice Boy Page-
I wonder if that guy ever gets letters addressed to "Dave, of the Infamous www.aexpert.com"?
After my initial amusement at your page, and then grand tour, it took me a while to think of my response. It might be a bit disorganized, but I wish to have my comments.
Okay, first off, I'm a Korean girl who dislikes (maybe hates is a better word) Rice Rockets or anything of the sort. They are simply annoying. I myself wanted a Prelude but my parents weren't pleased with the 98 model, and so I bought a red 98 Mustang instead. I wouldn't have "originaliezed" it anyway though. Also, most of my friends aren't Asian, and so I have a broader view on the cars of the world, although one of my friends, a BMW fanatic, taught me the art of "knowing" cars in their entirety, whereas before I was but another bumbling girl who couldn't tell one black car apart from the other. So I did understand your page and the emphasis behind it, and I must say I completely agree.
Your page is hilarious and very very true. I see cars like that and just cringe. I go to Ayala High School and don't see terribly atrocious cars at school, but there are definitely more than enough Civics and other lowered hybrids in our crowded parking lot. I don't understand why people think doing inaccurate grody things to their cars are cool, but then, I'm not one that goes for guys on the basis of their cars only. I have a car myself, I can drive and not hitch a ride from a Pink Neon, you know?
Also, I think your commentary and structured format of your page proved to be very effective, in a witty yet nonchalantly subdued way. Also, niiiiiiiiiice captions. I was quite amused.
But there were so many run-on sentances and misspellings!! I thought that just made the entire site worthless, that's what a real webmaster told me!
I think the mail section is great, because you get to read all the Rice Rocket owning loser-prototypes that got insulted at your page. As for myself, I sent the link to several friends.
And NO I don't think you have no life because you have this page, as several of the afore-said replyees said. I would have done one myself, if I could have. I'm not much for analysis of automobiles, though. I can identify and such, but I couldn't be smartly derisive about it, as you have so comically been.
So that's about it. Apologies for the logical inorganization of my reply. Also, I did have a few non sequitur comments.
You've actually seen that Neon? I would have barfed.
I'd hate to move to Texas after seeing those poor pathetic boys.
T'is the end of my pitiful ramble. Good day and good luck to you.
Hahaha. Now because of Myc187, AtoZ and Ragtop, she thinks everyone in Texas is pathetic :)
Back to the Responses Page.
Last Modified 4/9/1999
Disclaimer: The responses published here may have been edited for length and/or content. The return addresses of those who respond are kept secret unless I am otherwise instructed.